Today i had dinner with a bunch of friends that I drifted away from during the past few years. I usually worry alot before each gathering because I knew that it was my fault and I walk away feeling regretful each time, usually feeling excluded and sad. But hey, today I realised that it's really how I look at things. In fact, the worry I feel before meeting these friends kickstarted my defense mechanism even before I actually meet them. Which most prob made me into a tablecloth person. i.e. 'I'm part of the tablecloth.. you don't see me.. I don't register you.' I'm so busy feeling sorry for myself that I have no time for anyone else. Now that's silly isn't it? And I've been silly for more than 3 years! Was it the cheeseball appetizer that kicked me off the 'Poor Me' pedestal?!
